(no subject)

I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion always trying to change you

Being like you are
Well this is something else, who would comprehend?
But some they do, lay claim that
Divine purpose blesses them
That's not what i believe. It doesn't matter anyway.
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last, I'm still not sure
What i do know is, to us the world is different
As we are to the world but, i guess you would know that

***
A friend just sent this to me on facebook... and ... it just... hit me so hard. "Hoping what you need is behind every door"... is what I've been dealing with for the last two years... probably longer, if I let myself think back that far.

This song IS ME. It embodies my entire life. Sure, I've found some things I need, but ... I still need. I still need.

I tried Christianity to give me what I needed, and it put me in the place I'm in now. Now I'm Pagan, and much happier. I tried drinking, I tried candy, I tried drugs. None of them worked. And now... now I'm back at the same old place again. The same old place.